The Sourpuss

James Cameron's Avatar Reviewed by The Sourpuss.

I have to admit, I was entertained by Avatar. But seriously, 2 hours and 40 minutes? Pocahontas and Fern Gully combined are barely over 2 hours. At that length, the “novelty” sort of wore off.

If this movie were not in 3D,  there would have been no reason for it have ever been made, let alone seen. The story was terrible and the acting was worse.

I can not stress that enough.

Which brings me to the real reason I’m writing this. James Cameron. Everything thing that’s wrong with this movie is you, Jim. It’s completely overhyped, much like your career. You spent ten years on this? Or did you spend 10 years waiting for the effects to be rendered? The most direction you seemed to give was telling Giovanni Rabisi to channel Ari Gold.  Jesus Christ dude, you could have spent a few hours on the script. Where was the musical number? Why is the title done in Papyrus?

You did not deserve the Golden Globes that you were nominated for and won. And you most certainly do not deserve to be nominated for best director and best picture. The best cinematography award that Avatar is nominated for is hilarious. It was shot on fucking green screen.  There is no movie going experience of the year award. If anything, you deserve Post Production Supervisor of the year.  And if by chance you do win, DO NOT give any part of your acceptance speech in that dumb, made up Na’vi language. If you do, I will call for a jihad on you.

We get it. The white man ruins everything. Oh yeah, I kept the glasses.